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Author Topic: wait for love or settle for someone to old?  (Read 10274 times)
jmiguelx44
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« on: March 14, 2011, 07:04:38 AM »

That's one of the lyrics in my favorite song by Darren Hayes entitled, "Where You Want To Be,". Strangely enough, that line really hit me.

In these times, especially if you're lonely (and you're single). Is it worth the wait for your The One? Or you just have to settle with someone who's also single, but beneath your preference, coz so that you have "someone to hold"?

So that in time, you will also develop feeling for each other? Can the heart be taught how to love?

Sorry for the cheesiness. It's rainy here. Grin
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0 ranjith
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« Reply #1 on: March 17, 2011, 01:33:07 PM »

God has sent every human onto this earth with someone to be by your side every moment. Wait and see. You will find the one you love and then you can lead a happy life.
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jmiguelx44
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« Reply #2 on: March 18, 2011, 01:12:22 PM »

Gee, I wish that was true.

Coz there are some of people, who, after getting tired of searching for their 1 true love, just settled for the ones not really the love of their lives.

Which can be sad...coz what happens then if they found them...just to be committed already
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Chrissy Smith
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« Reply #3 on: March 23, 2011, 05:26:42 PM »

I can relate I am a very young looking 56 yr old female and the men my age all look like the crypt-keeper  Cheesy
One of the most important things I have learned in life is that you have to be happy with yourself first. Sometimes we see so many faults in others when its really a reflection of our biggest fears...now relate that to my first statement ...lol

Whatever you do, its important to remember that you have to live 'happily' with that person..It doesn't make any sense to marry someone because you fear being alone and then you are miserable with that person.

I hope this helps

chrissy
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« Reply #4 on: March 24, 2011, 12:22:04 PM »

I can relate I am a very young looking 56 yr old female and the men my age all look like the crypt-keeper  Cheesy
One of the most important things I have learned in life is that you have to be happy with yourself first. Sometimes we see so many faults in others when its really a reflection of our biggest fears...now relate that to my first statement ...lol

Whatever you do, its important to remember that you have to live 'happily' with that person..It doesn't make any sense to marry someone because you fear being alone and then you are miserable with that person.

I hope this helps

chrissy

Great help chrissy!

Yes, I agree with that. Most people just tend to have a relationship with others (they really have no feelings for) just for the sake of having to call someone having a significant other.

In the end, they realize that they may hurt that person when they call it quits. sad
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Chrissy Smith
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« Reply #5 on: March 24, 2011, 02:49:53 PM »

Thanks for your reply...it does get harder as you get older
nobody likes being alone
but being unhappy is worse  Cheesy
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jmiguelx44
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« Reply #6 on: March 31, 2011, 12:17:49 PM »

Thanks for your reply...it does get harder as you get older
nobody likes being alone
but being unhappy is worse  Cheesy


Hi Chrissy,

Yes, indeed!

Most people sometimes ask "why are you single?" It's as if for them It's that simple to find The One.

Of course, you just can't have a relationship with someone just for the sake of having someone be called  a significant other.
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Unstoppable
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« Reply #7 on: April 07, 2011, 07:46:50 PM »

Never settle for anything other than the very best. I did this for many years because I, like many other people, didn't want to be alone. I suffered the consequences of having toxic relationships that hindered my growth as a person and held me back from reaching my full potential and living my dreams.

The best advice that someone ever gave me when I was single and singing the blues was to "date yourself". In other words you need to learn how to love yourself and be truly happy and okay with being alone before you can ever find the kind of love that you are looking for. When I finally understood what this person was talking about and started to "date myself" and not be afraid of being alone for the rest of my life I was liberated. Soon after that I met my wife and the rest is history  Wink

Hope this helps,
Anthony
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« Reply #8 on: April 24, 2011, 01:12:02 PM »

Never settle for anything other than the very best. I did this for many years because I, like many other people, didn't want to be alone. I suffered the consequences of having toxic relationships that hindered my growth as a person and held me back from reaching my full potential and living my dreams.

The best advice that someone ever gave me when I was single and singing the blues was to "date yourself". In other words you need to learn how to love yourself and be truly happy and okay with being alone before you can ever find the kind of love that you are looking for. When I finally understood what this person was talking about and started to "date myself" and not be afraid of being alone for the rest of my life I was liberated. Soon after that I met my wife and the rest is history  Wink

Hope this helps,
Anthony
never though that a man could chose to live with none but himself. really wonderful thoughts. In the situation quoted there would be no one one whom we would be angry and evrything is in our control.
-ranjith
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Of friendship
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Kimberly Laura
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« Reply #9 on: April 26, 2011, 02:34:47 AM »

Now I must ask were you saying "settle for someone to hold" or "settle for someone too old"?

There's a difference for certain. And I would like to comment that you can have someone to hold and you don't ever have to be lonely even before finding and settling in with your 'life partner.' If that is indeed what you are aiming for.

I really enjoyed the comments about dating yourself because to get to this point you absolutely must be comfortable with loving yourself. Which simply means truly loving life. From there your Heart can open to all the world around you and you won't ever be alone AND you will never want for company or someone to hold you.

It's like a law of nature. Give it out and you will certainly get it. There is also the factor to consider that not every relationship is meant to last for your lifetime. Some people come into your life, even intimately, for very short periods and are no less important to your journey than those that remain like family.

It's okay to just love the one you're with as long as the one you are holding most dearly is YOU.
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linD43
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« Reply #10 on: April 26, 2011, 10:55:58 PM »

Yes. Yes. yes.

Lots of great responses here.  You must first learn to love yourself before you will be able to attract someone special to love you.  The universe will reflect back to us what we focus on and radiate out into the world.  If what you radiate out is,  'No one will ever love me',   'I'm too old, too fat, too thin, too smart, too dumb... '  What will be mirrored back is people who feel that way.  Not what you were hoping for, right?

As to the original question,  I just saw the answer to this recently in Kim O'Neil's newsletter (a well known psychic channel who has also written a book on Soul Mates).  When you 'settle' for someone just to avoid being alone - she claims you are sending a message to the universe that you are already 'taken'.  That will greatly reduce the odd of 'The One' showing up.

But I'll have to admit,  while a good idea ... sometimes 'dating yourself' gets old - especially when I keep getting stuck with the check.  LOL

Best of luck!
linda  
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Margueritav
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« Reply #11 on: May 03, 2011, 11:25:51 AM »

      Great responses all round. And I definitely concur. If I could just add a little something.

      Regardless of where you are at in life, settling for someone just because you are afraid of being lonely, could end up being very lonely indeed. I would sometimes feel much more alone in a room full of people than I would actually in my own company if I had no real connection with those people. You can also feel very alone in a relationship if you are not with the right partner.  Personally I would choose to live with a beloved pet than with someone who didn't cause my heart to skip a beat every time he/she looked at me.

      Living with another person is extremely challenging, even when you are deeply in love. Having been married for 15 years, I can definitely vouch for that! If I didn't love my husband, I probably would have killed him years ago! And I'm sure it's pretty safe for me to say that he feels the same way.

      Definitely loving yourself is a major key. Self-worth is also a key component of finding your soul mate. If you are even considering 'settling', then your self esteem definitely needs a boost. Easier said than done however.

      Here's a few powerful things I suggest to increase your self-worth and self-love.

      1. Write down a list of all the characteristics and behaviors of your perfect partner. Don't hold back. And then look at that list and honestly evaluate if you have all of those qualities. If you have written things like kind, thoughtful, nurturing, romantic, appreciative, trustworthy, and you are lacking in any of those qualities, then that is something you need to work on to change.
      2. Take that list and study it carefully for a few minutes. Then put it away somewhere safe, knowing you have committed it to memory and can still access it whenever you need to refresh your memory. Daily if you need to.
      Visualize being with your new partner. Where are you? What are you doing? Is anyone else in the vision? What are the smells, sights and sound of your environment? How are you feeling with this amazing new person
      3. Chakra healing to strengthen and open your heart Chakra. There is plenty of information on the internet on chakras if you google it.
      4. Emotional Freedom Technique, or EFT for short, is an incredibly powerful energy psychology technique based on ancient eastern philosophies that utilizes to bring healing on all levels.
      5. Sound Healing is an incredibly powerful healing modality and can help to heal physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually

      I can send you more information on all of these techniques if you like. Please message me back if you are interested and I will send you the details of where to find further details.

      I hope you find this helpful.

      Cheers,
      Marguerita
    [/list]
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    0 ranjith
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    « Reply #12 on: May 04, 2011, 12:49:58 PM »

        Great responses all round. And I definitely concur. If I could just add a little something.

        Regardless of where you are at in life, settling for someone just because you are afraid of being lonely, could end up being very lonely indeed. I would sometimes feel much more alone in a room full of people than I would actually in my own company if I had no real connection with those people. You can also feel very alone in a relationship if you are not with the right partner.  Personally I would choose to live with a beloved pet than with someone who didn't cause my heart to skip a beat every time he/she looked at me.

        Living with another person is extremely challenging, even when you are deeply in love. Having been married for 15 years, I can definitely vouch for that! If I didn't love my husband, I probably would have killed him years ago! And I'm sure it's pretty safe for me to say that he feels the same way.

        Definitely loving yourself is a major key. Self-worth is also a key component of finding your soul mate. If you are even considering 'settling', then your self esteem definitely needs a boost. Easier said than done however.

        Here's a few powerful things I suggest to increase your self-worth and self-love.

        1. Write down a list of all the characteristics and behaviors of your perfect partner. Don't hold back. And then look at that list and honestly evaluate if you have all of those qualities. If you have written things like kind, thoughtful, nurturing, romantic, appreciative, trustworthy, and you are lacking in any of those qualities, then that is something you need to work on to change.
        2. Take that list and study it carefully for a few minutes. Then put it away somewhere safe, knowing you have committed it to memory and can still access it whenever you need to refresh your memory. Daily if you need to.
        Visualize being with your new partner. Where are you? What are you doing? Is anyone else in the vision? What are the smells, sights and sound of your environment? How are you feeling with this amazing new person
        3. Chakra healing to strengthen and open your heart Chakra. There is plenty of information on the internet on chakras if you google it.
        4. Emotional Freedom Technique, or EFT for short, is an incredibly powerful energy psychology technique based on ancient eastern philosophies that utilizes to bring healing on all levels.
        5. Sound Healing is an incredibly powerful healing modality and can help to heal physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually

        I can send you more information on all of these techniques if you like. Please message me back if you are interested and I will send you the details of where to find further details.

        I hope you find this helpful.

        Cheers,
        Marguerita
      [/list]
      I think that by following those advices one would never go wrong in selecting a life partner and would never get bored with that person.
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      A light hearted talk
      Of expressions
      Of friendship
      Of love
      And Of happiness.......
      Read on my blog:
      Everything had left….. but not a drop of tear was shed
      -Written by  Ranjith
      kimboy
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      « Reply #13 on: May 10, 2011, 10:08:03 AM »

      Great help chrissy!

      Yes, I agree with that. Most people just tend to have a relationship with others (they really have no feelings for) just for the sake of having to call someone having a significant other.

      In the end, they realize that they may hurt that person when they call it quits. sad
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      0 ranjith
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      « Reply #14 on: May 26, 2011, 07:40:59 AM »

      Gee, I wish that was true.

      Coz there are some of people, who, after getting tired of searching for their 1 true love, just settled for the ones not really the love of their lives.

      Which can be sad...coz what happens then if they found them...just to be committed already
      What such people end up is 'repenting for the rest of their lives'
      - Ranjith
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      A light hearted talk
      Of expressions
      Of friendship
      Of love
      And Of happiness.......
      Read on my blog:
      Everything had left….. but not a drop of tear was shed
      -Written by  Ranjith
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