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Author Topic: The one that got away  (Read 5107 times)
Jason Field
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« on: January 27, 2011, 02:38:45 AM »

Hey guys, I'm just curious. At some point in our lives, we may have those relationships/ or even pseudo-relationships/or have that person that we are fond of, we love or we like that didn't work out, or "the one that got away" for some reasons.

What are your thoughts on this? Do you feel sentimental because you have lost that love you didn't fight for or at least you didn't pursue at all? Some I know faced regrets about that. That if they only fought for that love, or be brave at that time, they could have true love after all.
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KathyT
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« Reply #1 on: January 31, 2011, 04:10:07 PM »

I remember a situation years ago - around 1992 or 1993 (the memories are beginning to blur) - when I was going through a separation and divorce. I had moved to a town a little further downstate for a while. I fell hard for a guy who had amazing charisma and charm. To me (at that time), he had just about everything I thought I wanted in a guy.

He initially came on quite strong, so I thought the feelings were mutual - and so I was crushed when he decided that he did not want to see me.

For a while following that, I just couldn't understand why this had happened. And for a while, I really did long for him.

Shortly thereafter (more by some natural process within myself - not just because I was hurting over this situation), I became an avid student of personal development and suddenly I was able to clearly see that "the one that got away" was, in hindsight, someone with whom I really didn't share a whole lot in common after all.

As I was able to observe the situation from a more detached and objective viewpoint, I saw so much that I had previously missed. (For example, because I knew a bit about his nature and beliefs, I felt that he would not have supported my path of self development, and he would not have encouraged my use of organic foods/alternative healing methods/etc.)

I now feel very grateful that things happened the way that they did. Once I was able to truly "let go" of this non-relationship, I felt my whole world open up to me. And then  I wound up finding my current husband who is truly the best friend and partner I could ever, ever ask for.

Just my experience in this...
Smiley Kath
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Jason Field
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« Reply #2 on: February 01, 2011, 01:30:59 PM »

Thanks for sharing Kathy.

Well thanks to him, you got a whole new wide of perspective from a different angle.
I think almost all of us, if not some, had their fair share of "who got aways" that we realized in hindsight, may not be the one we always end up with, but we learn some things, insights and lessons, and realizations from.

But the thought always come to mind, the "What ifs"--you know, what if he never got away, what if we DID end up being together, blah blah.

I thnk some people in our lives are simply not made for us to be together, but only to pass in our lives and teach us some memorable lessons.
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Adventurer
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« Reply #3 on: February 01, 2011, 02:41:28 PM »


If I hadn't been the one that 'got away' my first husband would have probably succeeded in killing me (he tried a few times)
perhaps if he had been able to love me in a more healthy way we would have still been together, but sometimes you need to be apart because that is the most appropriate thing rather than it being a matter of love/not love.

After I left he got involved with drugs and died of an overdose (after about 2yrs of trying to hunt me down - involving some hairy moments)

Now I am in my 2nd marriage of 25 years and very happy (of course it hasn't been without its ups and downs ... what I would call a natural growth process)
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KathyT
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« Reply #4 on: February 02, 2011, 03:29:13 PM »

Well thanks to him, you got a whole new wide of perspective from a different angle.
I think almost all of us, if not some, had their fair share of "who got aways" that we realized in hindsight, may not be the one we always end up with, but we learn some things, insights and lessons, and realizations from.

But the thought always come to mind, the "What ifs"--you know, what if he never got away, what if we DID end up being together, blah blah.

I thnk some people in our lives are simply not made for us to be together, but only to pass in our lives and teach us some memorable lessons.

Oh, yes, Jason. That's definitely how I now look at things - how much I've learned as a result. And also: Had I NOT gone through a particular experience, I would not be where I am right now - which is in a far better place than I was then. Smiley


If I hadn't been the one that 'got away' my first husband would have probably succeeded in killing me (he tried a few times)
perhaps if he had been able to love me in a more healthy way we would have still been together, but sometimes you need to be apart because that is the most appropriate thing rather than it being a matter of love/not love.

After I left he got involved with drugs and died of an overdose (after about 2yrs of trying to hunt me down - involving some hairy moments)

Now I am in my 2nd marriage of 25 years and very happy (of course it hasn't been without its ups and downs ... what I would call a natural growth process)

Adventurer - that is a touching and very moving story, and I'm really grateful that you shared it with us. You have a great deal of courage. I'm so glad you are in a better place now.
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Hi! I Wrote a Goal Setting Guide that is Free For Everyone!
I had a LOT of fun writing it & hope you enjoy reading it & my newsletters.
Come meet me at http://www.SelfDevelopmentStrategies.com
Also, my blog is up & running! http://www.SelfDevelopmentAndGrowth.com
Thank you for visiting! Smiley
Pretty Damsel
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« Reply #5 on: February 20, 2011, 10:54:57 AM »

I felt that pseudo relationships are exciting but can cause so much emotional turmoil in the end.
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« Reply #6 on: March 17, 2011, 02:39:39 PM »

the thought of someone we loved getting away is unbearable. If it happens, we are responsible for it and should never allow it to happen.
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Jason Field
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« Reply #7 on: March 21, 2011, 11:20:47 AM »

the thought of someone we loved getting away is unbearable. If it happens, we are responsible for it and should never allow it to happen.

Yeah ranjith.

But sometimes, we never realized someone's importance--until they left us. sad but true. That's why we tend to regret things
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0 ranjith
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« Reply #8 on: May 26, 2011, 01:47:15 PM »

the thought of someone we loved getting away is unbearable. If it happens, we are responsible for it and should never allow it to happen.

Yeah ranjith.

But sometimes, we never realized someone's importance--until they left us. sad but true. That's why we tend to regret things

It is not necessary that someone has left us only because we haven't realised their importance. There might be many other causes for it and one of them is the bad ones around who always try to spoil good relations between people. The ultimate loser is the one who cares about relations.

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A light hearted talk
Of expressions
Of friendship
Of love
And Of happiness.......
Read on my blog:
Everything had left….. but not a drop of tear was shed
-Written by  Ranjith
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