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Author Topic: Chronic Mental Tension  (Read 70265 times)
sereneseeker
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« on: February 09, 2008, 12:05:35 PM »

I am suffering from this mental tension / tightness in the head since 7-8 years. More than that i would be thinking of the tension coming and in no time it arrives then i go on focussing on the tension and it really rises and rises. This has become a vicious cycle. I do not know how to get rid of this life-threatening situation.Then i try to control it using auto suggestions like "I am feeling relaxed .. relaxed" it helps after some time but i am getting tired of it.For some days and sometimes I would be feeling relaxed then the Tension returns.
I am taking Alprazolam in very small quantity every night.
Also doing Holosync - since 1 and half year - which has really helped to certain extent - But I am not free of this bad habit yet.
After listening to the relaxation binaural sound tracks while sleeping I am for some days getting good sleep.
To add to the problem I am introvert and do not disclose to anybody regarding the problem - not even seeking professional advice.
Seem to be a problem with personality - low self-esteem. from childhood I was suffering from insecurity,feeling of longingness,feeling of being unloved,anxiety and panic attacks.
Can anybody please help me fight with these demons?
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Amorantori
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« Reply #1 on: February 09, 2008, 12:21:26 PM »

Firstly other members and myself will send our love, in relation to your honesty, suggestions will come later. Smiley
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Amorantori
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« Reply #2 on: February 09, 2008, 05:51:48 PM »

People selling non-dualistic philosophy, will sell you there is nothing you have to do to gain liberation of pain and suffering, and to a point, they are right. However since mainly we are the product of poor conditioning, you can appreciate there is things you have to undo, and often to accomplish this, there is things you must put in place, in their absence. If you step on a thorn and it breaks off and enters your foot, it takes another thorn to remove the broken off piece.........

I have contemplated your condition and know it can be relinquished through team effort, and quite quickly you will see results. I know you are not new to this forum but you have come to the right place.

It might only seem trivial to you, but I want you to ask a moderator to change your name from sereneseeker, to just "serene." To seek says you don't have what you seek.............. and unfortunately never will.

Hopefully Sanjay will add some input to your self-esteem challenges, read some of his material and he's good.

I never want to hear you say problem or problems ever again............. refer to them as challenges.

Challenges have beauty, they are your metaphysical weights, without challenge we would never of accomplished to walk, never mind ride a bike.

Many of the things you talk about are self manifested, and that is neat, as you own them................. as remote as it seems, you are controlling them, you are gifted in this area, which is going to make our task easier than it could of been.

Demons? no trust me, they are not demons, just energized absences. Let me paste something I said about darkness recently.
"Darkness is not real, in a sense, it's just the absence of light. When you switch a light on in a dark room, the light does not strive to displace the darkness, it is effortless, it just goes as if it was never there."

As for being unloved, we love you and you must realize this............ so now you can re-phrase the statement to "I am loved." Your honesty and humility touched me, and those qualities are worth much in a world which displays much bravado, pretense and low evolutionary behavior. So if we can love you, can you cut yourself some slack......... and appreciate yourself.

I think this thread will be active in the next week or two...................... have patience my friend.   Smiley
« Last Edit: February 10, 2008, 09:06:14 PM by Amorantori » Logged

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sereneseeker
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« Reply #3 on: February 11, 2008, 10:43:04 AM »




Hi Amorantari,
I felt greatly relieved after posting my challenges in this forum and felt like a big load went away from my heart after getting an immediate reply with love. This has undoubtedly helped me a lot. I know I have at last come to the right place.
It is great to hear from you that you love me - I am feeling lucky. But the crux of the matter is I should love myself - I am so self critical - even for the qualities(honesty and humility) you have mentioned are rare and reasons for my lovability - sometimes appear to me as negative qualities in me. Like I should not be so honest and so bending before others, others just con you. This has emerged from some past unfortunate life situations.I have taken for ride  and due to my simplicity people have cheated me. Sometimes the feeling runs like that :I no longer want to be honest and good to others.
Though in my heart of hearts and I know it I am good - but in day to day life,in my dealings with people and family i feel i am suffering because of that.Is it a challenge of lack of self -love,self-respect. I could well analyse my prcarious postion but still i require ur opinion and confirmation.This in itself, donot u think, lack of self-cofidence?I have seen many people who take themselves as right, though they are not right-here the confidence is supreme,may be they are right i donot know really-u cannt be judgmental about others.But I have felt i lack that confidence - even i cannt stand for my good things - keep aside the bad or gray things.

What u have said regarding "we are the product of our poor conditiongs is completely accurate". But what i used to do is go over and over again about my misfortune - like my father and mothe should have inculcated all these personality attributes in me. (Though it is true that your parents cannot inculcate in you what they themselves are not).I had also tried and tried to improve myself - but somehow i have gone worse to worst and could not definitely locate my challenges.

The thing about "enerzised absenses" is quite correct. I have taken darkness as reality.ya i can see i am controlling all that.i take the onus on myself.so i can cure myself. I have to be patient.A change of outlook a distinct shift is required.I am waiting for that.

As they say "I am that" .I have to be serene,relaxed. Nay I am serene relaxed - The challenge here is how to be consistent? Practice?

Yes i want to be named as "Serene" Kindly help me.



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Amorantori
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« Reply #4 on: February 11, 2008, 11:32:57 AM »

The challenge here is how to be consistent? Practice? QUOTE


Your challenge isn't one of continuity of serenity it's one of de-energizing the part of the mind that is trying to pull you away from the moment. Many of us are slaves of over-thinking, my greatest past time is non-thinking.

If you have inner peace now, why in a few moments time or in ten years time, should there be change? Will you not always meet the future in a present moment of the now, in fact logically if you dwell in the peace, as you are energizing it by intention of awareness, it should become more empowered and powerful. There is no real psychological time, read again please, it's all a construct of mind, an illusion. Psychological time is not clock-time.

I will add more content here and there, so to give you time to contemplate them.

Will say that your humility is an asset, as it makes you teachable, which is your salvation.
« Last Edit: February 11, 2008, 11:48:00 AM by Amorantori » Logged

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Amorantori
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« Reply #5 on: February 11, 2008, 07:14:25 PM »

Humility isn't a faculty that can be synthesized, as is any of the seven fruit of the spirit, humility is always present, as arrogance is deconstructed......... it's there, standing in all of it's glory. All strife and striving is mind.

I felt greatly relieved after posting my challenges in this forum and felt like a big load went away from my heart after getting an immediate reply with love.QUOTE.

This is why it is so dangerous to spend too much time in isolation when facing life challenges, but notice how the mind encourages you to do it. Does this make the mind an enemy?.... no it's just a tool. As you link to the forum consciousness, it will dilute any non-congruent consciousness you have. Not to undermine your evolution but to assist you to progress, and this you have earned through good karmic actions, nothing is hidden from the universal force. And at the end of the day, we are all of one heart, humanity is the religion, breath the prayer and consciousness the God. My Masters words.

Like I should not be so honest and so bending before others, others just con you. This has emerged from some past unfortunate life situations.I have taken for ride  and due to my simplicity people have cheated me. Sometimes the feeling runs like that :I no longer want to be honest and good to others.QUOTE.

The butterfly does not contemplate the challenges it met as a caterpillar. Once you surrender to the evolution of consciousness and loosen the grip of the ego which is choking the spirit, the manifestations of olde are no longer there. You might encounter token representations, but they have a transparency. You no longer have a propensity for reactive behavior, they are just waves that you can tune into and out of, at will, they no longer pull your strings. Your energy is no longer a medium for their resonance. It's not that you don't care, just that you hold no emotion around what ever it is. No one shouts at a mirror for very long, as you become detached within your inner peace from the tick-tock madness of low evolutionary living, old acquaintances will either fall away or modify their attitude to wards you, which is helping them grow, as it's installing in them a habit. On this path you can only receive what you unconditionally give. You can give conditionally, but that is how you will receive back what you have given, which will take you nowhere of any worth.

Though in my heart of hearts and I know it I am good - but in day to day life,in my dealings with people and family i feel i am suffering because of that.Is it a challenge of lack of self -love,self-respect. I could well analyze my precarious position but still i require ur opinion and confirmationQUOTE.

Everybody is good, in fact more than that, all are holy, all paths lead to God consciousness, even the robbers. Have gratitude that God spared you an immensely difficult incarnation this time so you could enjoy his presence now, unlike the robber. The God that dwells in us is just as worthy appreciation as the God that we feel is external to our-self*. The God that dwells inside of you, is you, so yes you can have self-love without vanity. It's when you fall in love with your projected self at the expense of the inner self it becomes vanity, where you, " Let your self down."

* the reason some people feel God is external to them is that they live in the mind, the mind can not perceive the spirit, yet the spirit can perceive the mind.

What u have said regarding "we are the product of our poor conditiongs is completely accurate". But what i used to do is go over and over again about my misfortune - like my father and mothe should have inculcated all these personality attributes in me.QUOTE.

It's your " Pain body," that keeps you thinking of the past, as every time you do, not only do you energize it that bit more, you bring it into a moment of the now, which guarantees it's future existence, without your participation...... it dies, as it is not real, another construct of the mind, another illusion. Like anything energized enough, it takes form.

What you perceive to be past misfortune, is actually fortune, without it you might of well missed the boat you have just been given the opportunity to board. The accumulated uncomfortableness of it all has motivated you to do something, had it been less and more tolerable, you might of just accepted it as your lot and done nothing to rise above it.  Smiley
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Amorantori
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« Reply #6 on: February 11, 2008, 09:22:44 PM »



To add to the problem I am introvert and do not disclose to anybody regarding the problem - not even seeking professional advice.
Seem to be a problem with personality - low self-esteem. from childhood I was suffering from insecurity,feeling of longingness,feeling of being unloved,anxiety and panic attacks.QUOTE


Within introversion, there are qualities, think of it as yin of taoist philosophy, the blade of grass that splits the rock in it's path to the light. Within that grass consciousness is an intention, just a mere vision* of what it should be, look at the laws of physics it breaks. The blade of grass if it retreated would die, if it just attempted to use blind brute force it also would die. Instead it yields to the force of the rock until it finds a weakness within the rock, the slightest of hair-line cracks.

* hold a vision of what you do want, not in a tense fashion, but with the poise of faith, a knowing.

The willow tree is left standing, when all the other trees have fallen to gale force. The willow yields to the gale, spreading the force through-out the whole tree and twists to an angle to re-direct the force. This is how the initiate deals with challenging situations.

Anxiety and panic attacks are extensions of a mind running amok/negative expectations. As you move through time " In the flow," thinking decreases, it's more of a feeling experience, although you are not even attached to the feeling(s.) Imagine grown-up empowered infants, it's the best I can do.

Keep posting anything of concern. Smiley
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Amorantori
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« Reply #7 on: February 12, 2008, 03:20:30 PM »




Most of what I have shared is spiritual psychology, tools will come later, but they are not essential. In these days of remote simplicity, it is more essential than ever to have foundations not of sand. Part of transcending the bubble of life, in the early days of self empowerment, is to withdraw from it's negativity, that's mainly media, television and newspapers..................... until you hold no emotion over it's content. This sounds cold, and many have trouble understanding this. Just like a boxer fueled by anger loses very quickly, if you want to do something over an article you have read, you will achieve more by being unemotional. However you have to train yourself to be like that. Many people who read newspapers do so to energize their pain body, which they have come to identify with............... and it leaves them with a victims mentality.

Articles in a newspaper all fall into a category of, interesting human evolutionary experiences, because that's what they are. All apparent bad things are through the alchemy of the universal spirit turned into good things. A man who loses his life at the hands of another, is part of his reformation, and who is he really helping............. who else is there?  it's just another part of his self, even using the word part suggests separateness.
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Amorantori
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« Reply #8 on: February 12, 2008, 03:58:28 PM »

For a few moments, close your eyes and project yourself into a point in outer space, observe the perfectness of the universe, its utter precision. Now look at Earth, notice its atmosphere, the essential solar rays. Now try sell me that our life here is some random experience. I must admit that I have had experiences along the path which have furthered my understanding. Smiley
« Last Edit: February 12, 2008, 08:01:14 PM by Amorantori » Logged

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TomSKinney
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« Reply #9 on: February 12, 2008, 05:59:05 PM »

You are using holosync, so you might want to do alternate nostril breathing from Hatha Yoga. It is one of the things they suggest for working with the kinds of problems which surface during the process. Ten minutes per day goes a long way toward feeling better. It also helps to take fish oil capsules - several grams per day at first and then back down to a maintenance dosage. Some 5-HTP at night will help you sleep better and it can help to take the edge off anxiety and depression after 6 to 8 weeks ... it is over the counter, like the fish oil, but it also has an anti-depressant effect and it really will improve your sleep. You might also want to see a doctor for a physical examination and a routine blood test to see if anything is off. It would also be an opportunity to discuss the over-the-counter stuff to make sure it is right for you and that it would combine well with the medication you are currently taking. It may be that you are better off with something else, like putting peppermint oil on cotton balls and placing them next to your pillow at night. If your regular physician isn't very helpful you may find a chiropractor to be a bit more open-minded about alternative therapies, or a licensed massage therapist. The doctor who is giving you the alprazolam could refer you so the insurance will pay for it.
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Amorantori
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« Reply #10 on: February 13, 2008, 09:16:39 PM »


Looks like good advice above, Alternate nostril breathing will do much to create mental equilibrium.

One of the strings from my bow which I want to share is, not reacting to content of one's life. This includes world events, your personal world events, both external and internal, such as thoughts and feelings.

How do you achieve detachment; by allowing/accepting/surrendering/non-resisting. What is........ is.

This doesn't mean that you always take no action*, but mostly you won't. What you are doing is dissolving a self that identifies with your life content. When you dis-connect from form, you become connected to that which is beyond form. It's amazing how when you stop reacting to what is, that it changes and generally changes to reflect what you are now............ consumed with peace. True peace can never be achieved through external things or reside on external conditions.

* but when you act, it comes from the power of the stillness inside you. Many people questioned, who have expressed great feats of strength in emergency situations, say that they gave it no thought, it just happened. They didn't see it was them that did it, as it's a self that they don't normally identify with, but of course it was them, it was the part of them that I am encouraging you to connect with, more deeply.

As you work on yourself, (this is a challenge, that we all have to go through,) old thinking patterns will leave you, after all they no longer serve " the new you." As the mind releases these thoughts/mind-sets, they will be felt in the body as they are working their way out, as they are represented chemically, and you might feel that you have lost your peace to the emotional representation of these chemicals. This will be somewhat testing, but if you have established detachment through acceptance, it won't last long. When you have truly declared that your inner stillness isn't going to reside on this condition and that condition, what can touch you?
And if you show fear to a dog it barks, and if you are in stillness it wags it's tail. So it is with life, if you lose your anxiety, anxiety provoking experiences diminish. Lose your fears and you are left with freedom.
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Amorantori
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« Reply #11 on: February 13, 2008, 10:08:37 PM »

Another powerful technique in dealing with fears, is to in a meditation reduce their size, in the case of a person, see them as tiny in your hand, if confidence has been a challenge, talk to them in the way you would like to " in reality," when you meet them next time in reality, you will have a subconscious recollection of you being empowered and them perhaps listening for once, they will react to the new energy you are projecting pertaining to personal dynamics, and because the present is pre-sent. Smiley
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Amorantori
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« Reply #12 on: February 14, 2008, 11:04:40 AM »

Obsessive justification/blame: I met a man in the 80s who had lost his job, he then spent ten minutes telling me that " everybody " had lost their job/ was going to lose their job due to economic recession. While he was talking I pondered on the traffic jams I met every morning on the way to work, were they all going to the social security office........ of course not. What he should of said was he had lost his job* and left it at that, but he wanted to justify himself, appear a victim of forces beyond his control, detach himself from being labeled a " loser."
With affirming crisis job prospects, what chance would he have of finding work speedily, and if he got an interview, what sort of energy would he of projected?

* should of said really, that he was in the process of evaluating new employment. Might of brought out the creativity in me.

The challenge of not being able to go beyond something, has beauty, because you can't go beyond something until you have gone beyond it. If you are blaming the past for current circumstances, that energy will persist and create more " current circumstances " because you are saying this plus this must equal that.............. so it does.

I hope you can see from the above the self responsibility, is much to do with response ability. Wink
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Amorantori
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« Reply #13 on: February 16, 2008, 10:25:50 AM »

Personal evolution is a purification process, it's all about returning to a being of pure light. Not being forced to make that decision, but out of choice based on the appreciation of what the light represents............ that is why Karma is not obvious.
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sereneseeker
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« Reply #14 on: February 18, 2008, 06:51:35 AM »

I have taken print outs of your posts and have gone through them over and over again in the last weekends. Those are really eye openiing and means a lot (i can not quantify that actually) for me. So much i have to learn and keep in mind nay not in mind it has to be my second nature - do not you thing to get it into that deep from which it becomes automatic takes time?

I am feeling greatly relieved - but the ghost of the suffering still props up its head now and then.

I am too much of a mental creature - Meanwhile I was reading (at the correct time)Gary Jukav's "Heart of the Soul" which talks of emotional awareness - it suddenly flashed to me that it is meant for me. The basic thing is the emotions that rise in us though apper to be stimulated by a person/situation is actually how your energy is being processed by your energy centres. That showed me how all that anger/rage/revengefulness which is arising in me for my near and dear ones (parents,wife) are not for their actions/doings but for my malprocessing - I have become more aware of the emotions - now the attention has really shifted from the other person his doings and sayings to my emotions - which has really taken control out of the emotions.

And each and every saying of yours mean so much for me - They are shifting so much in me - Hope if this continues i will get to the point where long i wanted to be. Thank you does not mean anything now.

I will keep you updated regarding my progress and other concerns intermittently.
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